can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
