Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
