It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
