Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
