Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
from now on my penis is your penis
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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