I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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