Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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