I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
