Swine flu. Run for my life!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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