I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
