C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize