tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
