it hurts more in the daytime
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
