I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize