Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the day after is always just damage control
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
