It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
