Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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