perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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