I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
