if you like me you must not know who I am
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
