Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
