I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
did you just send me my own nude
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
