Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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