she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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