remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
