And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
