You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize