Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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