And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
