Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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