dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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