Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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