I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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