okay pat passed out under dana's car
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
