I wish my penis had an off switch
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
