you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
