Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
