next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
