i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
