OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want to walk on stilts...naked
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
