I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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