insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
