I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
we should paint friendship bongs
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