i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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