I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
