i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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