He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also, beer. Big fan.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
