dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Umm I'm too high to move.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
