Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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