Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
