Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
