We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
