This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
