speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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