the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
