Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
