Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Damn victory sex feels great
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
