I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
