you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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