I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
