somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You've changed since you got that strap on
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
