Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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