i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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