wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
