I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
